Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
