oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
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