I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
