I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
