A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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