I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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