So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
