im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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