Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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