Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
