ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
