i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
