Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Randomize
