Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Randomize