I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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