So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
