is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
