Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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