he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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