Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
