so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
