do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
