this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize