I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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