the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
