my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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