I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Someone signed my nipple.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
