I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
