Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
