New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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