she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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