I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
