I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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