Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
