dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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