apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
