So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
