If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize