so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
