That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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