I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
