weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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