I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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