What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
