I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
