Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
