New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
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