Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize