Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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