My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You made out with two different species that night
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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