She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
