there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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