He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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