I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
