i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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