I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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