Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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