Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
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