ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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