she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
