If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
he thought i was a dude.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize