Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
accomplished twins. life is a go
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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