what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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