Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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