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Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
