Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
