Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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